mindfulness

#TuesdayTruth with Aunt Ruth

~ Lomokie ~ Leave a comment

If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.

If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.

-Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

The entire Global Yoga Project has been completely intuition based. Which is 85% against my nature. Flowing with the universe is definitely a newly discovered ability, but one that is so powerful.

My trauma-rooted insecurity with the universe’s ability to protect me is real and like the bad knee that is helpful at predicting the physical weather, my condition flares up with social clouds – seriously- social anxiety is a truly unfortunate product of McDonaldization of society.

Anyway I got stuck in the loop my first week here. Wringing my hands trying to find the balance between being rude and saying what I needed to say around being vegan. When you are fat, EVERYONE becomes an expert on your body and assumes you have no discipline or self-control. It is a fascinating and frustrating thing to experience.

I kept saying I only eat fruits and veggies and the response was ‘fish won’t make you fat’ or ‘just eat like me, I eat everything but only twice a day’ or ‘just don’t eat snacks’ or ‘eggs are fine they pull fat away’. Basically, everything but, ‘okay you can chose what you would like.

As I watched the contents of an entire meal cooked with fish and oysters leave the way it entered I remembered the wisdom my aunt shared with me on the first day I got to Ghana.

“-Know when to stop;
-Know when to say no;
-Know when to get ready;
-Know when it is time to go.”

Intuition and self trust are two of the most important tools I have learned on the mat, but there is difference between knowing and doing. Even good old Paul from the New Testament struggled with this!

This week I’m taking this affirmation with me, meditating on the root and throat chakra energy.

I trust my need to say no, I listen to my body when it says “go”. God/the universe/the divine acknowledges my intentions and integrity and I can trust my intuition and discernment process.

How do you deal with doubt, social anxiety or issues with people pleasing?

#MidweekMatMoment: Knowing yourself, to Fullness

~ Lomokie ~ Leave a comment

If you care about what people think about you, you will end up being their slave. Reject and pull your own rope.
-Auliq Ice

This week I am meditating on what it means to know myself and the power that has to both protect me and push me to the next level of growth.

I was melting into a tree pose sequence and thinking about being in the land of my people’s pain and prosperity and like a little butterfly kiss I realized I was exactly where and who I was supposed to be no qualifications for my size, missed opportunities, detours. I was present.

This was one of those tiny/huge moments of release that meant so much because it was happening at home, a place that can be full of the ego. The desire to impress. The feeling of shame or pride. Hurt feelings. Miscommunication in the midst of deep love.

If you have been away from a place you call ‘home’ you might have had that feeling where you look around and everything is different and the yet the same.

Coming home is hard.

Especially after six years.

Especially as a grown woman in a culture that considers you your dad’s responsibility until you are your husband’s.

Le Sigh.

I study human and organizational (community development and psychology) and social ethics through the lens of the Womanism, that is, viewing the way society Treats black women globally and their responses as a source of deep wisdom and knowledge because in many ways they are the canary in the coal mine of society.

I am a known stranger visiting un/(family)-iar lands.

I have so much to say because of my training and yet feel so humbled because that is what the academy does – makes me assume I know best. Instead I have committed to the project of listening, which I think is more difficult, but also easy because I’m trying to remember/learn the language.

Now I will rescue this post from theoretical land and say, it has been so hard for me to inhabit my self since being here. I am a true bowl of GRITS – A Girl Raise In The South. I came out the womb dancing and basking in the light of stardom and by the time I hit 8 I was aware that to be a happy black girl offended the sensibilities of some people and I acquiesced.

So here I am. 20 years later. Knowing myself, my ancestors, my guides and my God, to fullness. That means fully inhabiting every inch of these size 22 polka dot shorts, speaking truth to power in love and with patience because I believe not only in authenticity but integrity and transformation.

Transformation is relational and burning bridges don’t make for great meeting points.

Coming home, when home isn’t paradise, tells you who you are because there is a subtle difference between ‘code switching’ and being ‘two-faced’ between ‘Speaking truth with integrity’ and ‘self/instantly gratifyihg authenticity’.

I think the difference is a bit of wisdom and grace and compassionate connection based on disconnection from the ego.

This week I am taking to the mat this acknowledgement and trust of my body, mind and soul. I’m committing to a flow practice where I don’t script my poses or try to ‘work’ on anything.

What are you taking to the mat this week?